Old Boomer Reflects on Young Millennials

Ask me anything about the millennial generation. That's the group of people born between the mid 1980s and early 2000s.

I am an expert because I've been soaking up endless articles and broadcasts about them. Turns out, a fair number of hand-wringing pundits fret about handing the world over to this surging demographic.

Millennials are the biggest generation since the baby boomers. According to the media, they live with their parents because they are un- or under-employed and up to their ears in student loan debt. It is also said that they are lazy, self-centered, entitled, and unable to compete.

Older folks tisk and shake their heads and remind anyone who will listen that this is the generation where everyone who participated in little league got a trophy, even the team that lost. No wonder we're losing out to China! On the other hand, I like the idea of a whole generation where crushing your opponent isn't the most important thing.

As for laziness and being self-centered, that is said about every generation when its young. They said it about my generation, the baby boomers.

I acted pretty entitled when I was in my 20s. I was a legend in my own mind, so talented that no one could tell me anything. I was an expert on everything. I cringe now to think of how arrogant I was.  I outgrew it (I think) and so will the majority of today's younger people.

Studies have actually shown notable millennial strengths:

• They are compassionate - probably because they weren't taught in little league that winning is all that matters. 
• They are less likely to be racist and homophobic than their elders. Most, when asked about gay marriage, don't understand what all the fuss is about.
• They are less materialistic. It is known that this generation is less interested in car ownership, for example, than any in modern history.
• They are closer to their parents than we were. I think that's nice. When I was in college, I talked to my parents on the phone maybe once a week. Long distance was expensive in those days. Now, thanks to improvements in technology, college students regularly talk to their parents daily or more.
• Technology is the key to the millennial generation. These kids eat, sleep, and breathe technology. It's no joke that when handed a new device, they figure out how to use it before I can get the instruction book open. And because of social media, they are connected to the rest of the world in ways we couldn't fathom in our day. 

Like everyone from every generation, I like to fret and worry about the up and coming younger folk and how they simply don't measure up. In fairness, I have to remember what it was like for  boomers when we were young.

• The Viet Nam war, Watergate, and later AIDS, led to disillusionment and a life-long mistrust of government and authority in general. 
• As a result, boomers rebelled against many sacred institutions, from industry to the military, from universities to religion. According to our elders, we simply had no respect. 
• As boys, we grew our hair long. It was a visible way to separate ourselves from adults.
• Girls wore their skirts short. I don't know what they were thinking.
• Our music was a loud expression of our emotions and sometimes our politics - just a lot of noise according to our elders.
• We didn't get along with our parents. We moved in different worlds and didn't understand each other. It was called the generation gap. As we matured, we were determined to have a different kind of relationship with our kids, and broadly speaking, we succeeded.

Now boomers are portrayed aging rapidly, set to soak up all of what's left of Social Security. We complain about government but can't wait to get our hands on medicaid. We bumble around technology, mystified by social media, and surrounded by vinyl and VHS which we can't enjoy because the machines which played them broke down long ago.

If I'm right, millennials will complain about the generations that come after them. I hope I last long enough to savor the irony.

Watch Out! Here Come the Holidays!

They're here. Again.

Would it be possible to celebrate the holidays every other year? I've only just recovered from last year and it's time to again get on that merry-go-round of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Halloween has passed for this year. We got exactly 0 (zero) trick-or-treaters.

Halloween doesn't do a lot for me. Ever since I was sick a few years back, I don't see the humor in fake cemeteries, depictions of dead (or undead) bodies, or blood everywhere. Plus those fake spider webs are just annoying.

I don't celebrate all holidays. Kwanzaa and Hanukkah are not on my list. I might give a passing nod to the winter solstice, but I don't go out of my way to celebrate. I happen to have a birthday in December, which I mark as a national holiday by taking the day off.

Thanksgiving is the one I hate the least. We host dinner for family and a few friends. It's a lot of work, but it's just food. No presents and very little pretense of religious tradition or ritual. We don't have to decorate the house, just set the table and make sure there is enough silverware. Without presents and caroling, there is plenty of time to just hang out and visit with loved ones. At our house, if you want to watch a football game, you can go into a special room designated for that activity.

Christmas, of course, is the most hyped. Pressure to participate pushes in from every side. You have to attend a friend's music concert or a child's pageant. You must decide whether to visit family or offend them by staying home. And the  the hassle of shopping is enough to make one crazy (or in my case, crazier). And there is, hands down, nothing worse than the forced gaiety of holiday office activities. Don't even get me started on secret Santas - as if we needed yet another person to worry about making happy.

New Years sucks. By December 31, you are fat and hung over from the other holidays, and ready for regular life to return. Instead, you have to go to "the biggest party of the year" and stay up later than you normally would. After that, there's nothing to look forward to but the long, dark winter ahead.  No days off until Memorial Day.

I've been called a Grinch before, so don't bother. Look, it's not like I hate every minute of the holidays. There are moments I really enjoy. It is good to get together with family you don't see very often. The seasonal food can be really wonderful. And there is nothing nicer than the colorful lights that pierce the night during the darkest time of the year.

Suggestions for coping:

• Lower your expectations. If you don't expect a perfect Christmas, you won't be disappointed when you don't have one.
• Enjoy what you can and ignore the rest. You don't really have to go to every concert and party. But it's ok to appreciate the lights that go up in your neighborhood. You don't have to make Grandma's traditional fruitcake that takes 16 hours. Go to your local upscale supermarket and buy one.
• Years ago, I  stopped buying individual gifts for my family members. Instead, I made one big donation in everyone's name to a favorite non-profit organization. The family appreciates it as much as they would a wrapped gift, and they don't have to drag home a bunch of stuff they don't need.

First Comes Love, Then Come Alternative Relationship Models, Then Comes Marriage

I'm just boomer enough to have spent my life questioning the established norms and mores of marriage. Who needs a piece of paper to prove their love or commitment? And the "wedding-industrial complex" - what a racket that is with it's tens of thousands of dollars of required dresses, fancy invitations, a huge reception with an expensive band or DJ, and the Chicken Dance. Oh my god the Chicken Dance!

Yes, in the old days, gay people were often the ones who questioned traditional marriage. They, we, espoused loving relationships in different forms. Let each person, couple, or group decide for themselves what kind of relationships they will form and leave traditional, permanent, monogamous marriage to unimaginative straight people.

Later on, some of us tried having commitment ceremonies which resembled weddings, but lacked legal teeth. None of the approximately 1,000 rights that go along with marriage applied.

Fast forward to the 2010's. Turns out that LGBT people are the ones most likely to champion legal, traditional marriage. While marriage rates in general are plummeting and the number of  single person households is rising, LGBT couples are falling all over themselves to get down to the courthouse for that marriage license.

Someday it will only be gays and lesbians trumpeting traditional values in congress.

So everyone pretty much agrees that gay marriage is here to stay and that soon it will be legal in all 50 states.

The most important part of this whole discussion is, how does it affect me? Do I just toss aside my old convictions that alternatives to traditional marriage are valid and preferable? Do I now embrace the "wedding-industrial complex" and (when the time comes) hire a wedding planner who will facilitate the spending of much money for that special day? What about wills, pre-nups, gift registries, and china patterns?

I'm won't even mention all the children that LGBT people are having.

That still leaves us with one question. If we are to conform to traditional models of marriage, must we also embrace the Chicken Dance?

Dangerous Cake Obsession Causes Loss of Control

I have no control when it comes to cake.

Seriously.

At the office, if I hear there's cake in the break room, I single-mindedly zero in, nearly knocking people over if they get between me and that moist, spongy confection with sticky, sweet frosting. After I chow down (think Cookie Monster without the blue fur), I'm immediately overcome by regret. I don't recognize the obsessed person that I temporarily became. In shame, I slink back to my desk.

It doesn't matter how full I am, or if I'm on a diet, or already had dessert, if there's cake, I'm there.

When I was a kid and my grandmother served cake, I'd boldly ask her if I could take some home. My parents were appalled at my audacity, but we always left with cake in hand.

Sometimes coworkers, who I suspect of secretly being vegan, bring a plate of fruit to celebrate a birthday instead of cake. What kind of birthday is that? I like pineapple and strawberries as much as the next person. I can live without honeydew. But who prefers fruit to cake? Certain members of my family always request pie instead of cake for their birthday. That's only marginally better than fruit.

A coworker recently got married. I asked about the cake at the reception and he said they didn't have one. It took a moment for that to sink in.

Wedding receptions are a place where I expect to have cake. Preferably, white cake with white frosting and little soft, flower shaped candies on the side. If you have to make your wedding reception different, skip the hokey pokey. But for God's sake, give your guests cake.

Cake is not only good to eat, it is versatile. Cake can be designed to look like anything. It can be made to look like a football, cartoon characters, even scanned photographs.  One of my earliest memories is a cake someone made in the shape of our church. Even now, if I go by my childhood church, my mouth waters.

When I was on Weight Watchers, I was appalled to learn that cake was one of the worst things I could eat. It has more fat and calories than almost anything else I love. Only pizza is worse. Life is hard.

My favorite cake in the world is the Chantilly cake from Whole Foods. A white, moist cake interspersed with strawberries and blueberries, it is infused with a light whipped creamy frosting. Note, there is room for fruit with cake, just not instead of cake.

Perhaps sometime I will write about frosted sugar cookies. How can you have Christmas without them?

Coping With Depressing News

On the verge of paralyzing journalism induced depression, Clyde and I have gone on a news diet.

World events seem more depressing than usual lately. For a time of year that media outlets usually feature shark attacks because there's not much else going on, we seem now to be bombarded with news of unthinkable violence.

We no longer want to be constantly upset about Gaza, Syria, Iraq, Ukraine, and Missouri, just to name a few. Al Jazeera and BBC no longer play on our TV all day. When you take in the same depressing stories multiple times in an endless 24 hour news cycle, it starts to get to you. Research shows that watching the same traumatic footage over and over affects you as if it were happening multiple times, even though it really only happens  once.

Instead of watching the endless looping on cable news networks, I'm getting information about world events  mostly through public radio where repeating footage is minimal. The Daily Show and Colbert Report round out how informed I am, if they're not on break. I catch the local TV news occasionally, but there isn't much information there, unless you want lots of weather and local crime.

I used to get a daily newspaper. It came to my front step early in the morning and kept me well informed without the disturbing video overload. I read the articles one time, occasional cutting out the ones I wanted to send to friends - sort of an old fashioned way of sending a link, and then added the leftovers to the recycling bin. I was fairly well informed during those years. But like many people, I quit taking the paper when the price went up and the quality went down, a victim of electronic media.

In spite of information overload, it's harder now to be informed than it used to be. Studies show that with so many news sources these days, people usually only pay attention to the ones which reinforce their world view. In other words, we no longer learn anything from news outlets. We just get our existing opinions reinforced. This is why the Republicans and Democrats in Congress and elsewhere are moving further and further apart.

We should know what's going on in the world. Informed citizens make for intelligent voters.

Do you value being informed? How do you digest information in the 24 hour news cycle? How are you coping with the summer's endless stream of bad news? Just leave a comment, here or on Facebook. I'll follow up in a future BillsWeek.

Taxi Companies HATE Uber, and Other App Tales

I recently downloaded an app called Waze (pronounced "ways") to my iPhone. Waze gathers data from hundreds of users via their smart phones and converts it into traffic information that guides you to your destination using the quickest route possible. For example, I usually take I-25 home from work. But when there's a traffic jam, as there often is, Waze knows about it ahead of time and directs me to a different route. It's a-MA-zing.

Another great app I recently discovered is Uber. Uber, like Waze, gathers information from drivers' smart phones and directs them to passengers who have requested a ride. In other words, I push a button on the Uber app and minutes later a car comes to take me where I want to go. Payment is done via a credit card you enter into the app ahead of time so there's no cash and no tip to mess with. It's so much faster than a taxi which can take up to an hour to arrive after you call for it.

Taxi companies, by the way, HATE Uber.

Everything is an app these days. Doing things from a website on your desktop or laptop computer is so 2000s. Anything you need to do, you can do from an app on the phone in your pocket.

I assume that app is short for application, but it also brings to mind the iPhone's maker, Apple. But that's neither here nor there.

I have relatively few apps on my phone but I've come to depend on them. I have an app to read the local paper, a camera app, an "organizer" which keeps me on task, and a calendar. I have an app which tells me what time it is in any city in the world. I can listen to music via the Pandora app and I can even watch movies on the little tiny screen using the Netflix app. Though I've stopped using it, again, there is also a Weight Watchers app on my phone. I even have an app which tells me whether I've used the allotted monthly amount of data on my phone plan.

There is an app which tells you at what altitude you are, which can come in handy in Colorado. Though I've never used it, there's an app that gay men use to find other nearby gay men. There's probably something comparable for lesbians and straight people, but I wouldn't know about those.

Facebook and Twitter have apps. I haven't fallen under the spell of Twitter yet. Is it something that could benefit me in any way? What would I tweet about? Who would want to know when I go to the bathroom or some such other personal and mundane activity? But I digress.

There are a few things I haven't been able to find an app for. House cleaning, for one. Wouldn't that be great? An app to weed the garden would also be nice. Is there an app that would help me give pills to my cat? Hey, not long ago I would have joked that I wanted an app to avoid traffic jams.

The What's Not Here Anymore Tour

When visiting a new city, it's sometimes fun to visit the most impressive, unique sights. In Denver, you might take in various landmarks such as the state capitol, for example, or the Museum of Nature and Science. Coors Field could be of interest, and you might even swing by the Denver Mint, though it's not much to look at from the outside.

I have an alternative tour. I call it the What's Not Here Anymore tour. After 25 years of living in the Mile High City, I know more about what a location in the city used to be than what it is now.

Though I didn't move here until I was 27, I grew up in Denver's orbit of influence. Denver was where we went to the airport. Denver was where all the TV stations came from. Denver was culture and theatre and shopping. Denver was fancy restaurants like the Spaghetti Factory where we ate whenever we came to town.  Hey, it seemed fancy at the time. Casa Bonita was also a regular stop - yes, I know the food is not that good, but for a kid just discovering his sexuality, those cliff divers were amazing to watch.

The malls in and around Denver were exotic because before 1980, my hometown didn't have one. There was nothing like that first sip of Orange Julius or an ICEE at Cinderella City.

The first traffic jam I remember was in Denver. My father drove the RV as my friend John and I watched from the overhang above the cab. We had to turn the radio off so Dad could concentrate while all those crazy freeway drivers tried to get around us. Naturally, the doors were locked because we were in the big city.

The first time I ever saw a gay couple making out, my family was driving through Cheesman Park on the way to my brother's apartment on High Street. My  parents pretended not to notice. Slack-jawed, I silently vowed I would return to explore this fascinating phenomenon and by golly, I eventually did.

When I moved to Denver, May D&F was the region's primary department store. The downtown location was an interesting paraboloid shape where the gigantic Sheraton now stands.

When I moved to Denver, Denver International Airport was still a massive construction site. Though the old crowded Stapleton Airport hasn't existed for two decades, I miss it. Oh sure, it was unnerving to land on parallel runways, two planes' wings nearly touching as they simultaneously approached the ground. But it only took 10 minutes to get from the end of Concourse E to my apartment on Columbine street. And I continue to be embarrassed by that circus tent that passes for the DIA roof.

It pains me now to see the wasteful demolition at the old University Hospital site, though we are promised new opportunities for housing and retail in the future, I'm starting to wonder if I'll live long enough to see it.

Try as I might, I can't exist totally in the past. I do appreciate the Denver of now.

• The blossoming of Lower Downtown (LODO) over the past two decades has really enlivened the city. 
• I love those whimsical dancing sculptures at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. 
• The Tattered Cover continues to shine as a literary beacon, even though it's moved around a bit and opened multiple locations. 
• Our Civic Center is second to none when it comes to gigantic holiday light displays. 
• The light rail system and Union Station redevelopment illustrate that people here have enough vision to invest in a bright future.

When all is said and done, however, nothing caps off the day like a visit to the Spaghetti Factory. It hasn't changed.