Thursday, November 21, 2013

Postblog From Asia: A BillsWeek List

I’m feeling pretty well traveled and rather well versed about what’s going on in Asia. This after spending a few days in Hong Kong, a half hour looking at Taiwan from 30,000 feet, and three hours sitting in the United Airlines passenger lounge of Narita International Airport nibbling chicken nuggets and drinking diet coke (so technically I can say I’ve been to Tokyo). Regarding the political situation or economics, I’m happy to give my lengthy opinion to anyone who asks even out of the most restrained or merely courteous interest.  

In this very special edition of BillsWeek, I offer some observations from a recent trip I took with Clyde, my globe-trekking boyfriend:

  • Hong Kong has great Italian food. We also ate Spanish and Thai food. I’m happy to report that we turned our noses up at every McDonalds we passed, though we did succumb to a couple of Starbucks along the way.
  • If you are lounging by the hotel pool and haven’t taken your shoes off before putting them up on the chair, an attendant will appear from nowhere and very politely insist that you put a towel under your feet.
  • You see a lot of white men with younger Asian women but never Asian women with younger white men. The women, however, always seem to be paying.
  • There are Starbucks and 7-Elevens everywhere – unless you really want one. Then they are nowhere to be found. Just like home.
  • I was worried about Americans being boorish slobs in Hong Kong. I’m happy to report that Australians are worse. I’m sure they never take their shoes off by the pool.
  • Hong Kong is serious about this bird flu stuff. If you cough or sneeze at the airport, you may be approached by a health official to have your temperature checked. I don’t know what happens to you if you have a fever but I wonder if you are whisked away never to be heard from again. irport, you may be approached by a health official to have your temperature checked. They are ser
  • Netflix is not available in Asia.
  • Vapid skinny women are the same everywhere.
  • The Today Show on Australian TV is a little less stupid than the American version. But the male host seems to be on every program at all times of day. Or is it just that all the male hosts look the same? And by the way, is it a little odd to be getting Australian TV in Hong Kong? I usually turned the channel to CNN.
  • Hong Kong has more malls than anyplace I’ve ever seen, and they are all underground on the way to the subway. Clyde calls them mall traps.
  • As at home, mid-November finds exclusive high priced stores and little street markets alike gearing up for Christmas with tacky red and white do-dads and depictions of snow.
  • Victoria Harbour smells just like the waterfronts in New York, San Diego, San Francisco, Baltimore, and anyplace else with access to the ocean.
  • I know I’m not very sophisticated, but I like my meat butchered, wrapped in plastic, and not in any way, shape, or form resembling the living thing it once was.
  • And by the way, the Boeing 787 non-stop flight home was awesome! It was great to touch down in Denver approximately four hours before we left Tokyo.

So anyway, if you have any questions for me, be sure to ask. I’m more than happy to share my expertise. And by the way, sumo wrestling was on TV in the Tokyo airport, so there was more than just chicken nuggets to be had there.