Then of course there is the relentless wind. Plus blizzards, sudden dust storms, and hail.
My first trip there as an adult was with some college mates, driving to spend a wild New Years in my sister's new home town. Suddenly, truly without warning, the clear dry pavement gave way to deep slush. I lost control and slid off the road - way off, out into a field where the snow went up to the window and scraped some necessary parts off the bottom of the car.
Since then, there have been multiple flat tires, numerous car-sliding-on-ice events, and several near misses with deer and trucks.
I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that Wyoming is out to get me.
Because both my sisters live there, I've had the opportunity to visit many times, often over Labor Day weekend. I love my sisters very much and enjoy seeing them, but I have an uneasy relationship with the Equality State.
Home to some beautiful places such as Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming is, by population, the smallest state in the U.S. But when you're driving for hours through the endless, treeless plains, it's surely one of the largest. The great distances between towns make parts extremely isolated so if something happens, you might be stranded for a while. Cell phone coverage is sparse along some stretches, so you truly are at the mercy of the elements.
For example, with the nonstop wind, if there's any snow on the ground, even if it's sunny above, chances are you can't see the road because of ground blizzards.
It's not just the landscape and weather that make Wyoming a challenge for me. There seems to be some, well, bad luck whenever I go there. A couple of years ago my dad came with me. The Saturday night of Labor Day weekend, we had to rush him to the nearest hospital which was 70 miles away. He recovered. I was a mess.
Sometimes my health acts up as well. Another Labor Day, I had to pull off the interstate at Terry Bison Ranch near Cheyenne to deal with sudden and severe nausea and muscle pain. It was the first flair up of what turned out to be West Nile virus. I spent the next several months fighting fevers and holding ice packs on my arms to decrease the pain. I can't really blame that on Wyoming, but isn't it odd that the symptoms first appeared there?
I have to take full responsibility for some of the disasters I encounter, like taking a wrong turn outside of Lander and accidentally going hundreds of miles out of my way to Rock Springs, which is not the loveliest place to be.
Unusual things happen to other people in Wyoming as well.
My sister once hit a deer in the dark on the road near her house.
Let me make that a little more clear. She wasn’t in the car. She ran into the deer. In the dark. With her body. While she was jogging.
In addition to the plethora of wildlife on the road, domestic animals can also cause inconvenience.
A cattle drive blocking the highway is always fun to see - for the first half hour. Who says traffic jams are limited to urban freeways at rush hour? When stuck behind real honest to goodness cowboys on horses herding cattle, I struggle to repress my mile high road rage and focus on the natural beauty of muscular denim-sheathed legs firmly working a saddle. Sometimes they drive little 4x4s instead of horses and it’s not quite as sexy.
The locals aren't always friendly to people from Colorado. Their view is that we’ve ruined our state with population and pollution and now want to ruin theirs. I don't doubt they have a point. But I try to go the speed limit and dispel whatever stereotypes I can about my home. It’s unsettling to hear snarling behind your back along the lines of, "Greenie go home," while gassing the car or visiting a rest area. "Greenie" refers to the color of our Colorado license plates.
My mother was out walking one time when a neighbor of my sister’s fired some shots at her. To my knowledge, she’s the only member of my family who has ever been shot at, and some of us have lived in some pretty scary neighborhoods.
It sounds like I don't like Wyoming, but I do. The people who live there are generally warm and friendly (greenie-haters notwithstanding). The time we slid off the road, for example, a trucker stopped within minutes to tow us out. My sisters' friends are colorful and interesting and come from all over the world to live in the wide open west. My niece and nephew grew up trusting just about everyone in their community, absent of crime and urban misery. There aren't many kids who can have horses in their back yards or who can leave their belongings on the sidewalk in front of the local shop without worrying they'll get stolen.
I just personally don't have good karma there.
Next week I go up for a Labor Day visit. I have new tires on the car and snow is unlikely (but not out of the question). Dad's in good health. I'm in good health. Hunting season will have started, so most folks itching to shoot will be out in the boonies. I think it will be ok, this time.
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