Is It Real? Does it Matter?

Does the grape flavoring in candy and pop resemble in any way the actual flavor of real grapes? Does Olive Garden have anything in common with real Italian food? When someone says, "Have a good day," do they really mean it?

What can we depend on to be real in this world? Or does it matter? If you like Olive Garden (which I do), does it matter if it's authentic? If wishing someone a good day might possibly increase feelings of positivity and good will, what's the big deal whether they mean it?

During the events surrounding my father's recent death, my siblings and I continually encountered strangers in public who either told us to have a nice day, or worse, asked us how our day was going. Each time, we cringed and joked that they wouldn't ask if they only knew. One waiter at an Olive Garden competitor was so insistent that we have a "fantastic evening," that one of us finally replied that we really couldn't do that because our father had just died. They peppy young man awkwardly expressed his condolences and turned to leave, but not before one last cheerful wish that we have a terrific night.

 I suspect wait-people get evaluated by how much they say that stuff to every customer, kind of like the number of "flair" items Jennifer Aniston is required to wear in the movie Office Space. (If you haven't seen Office Space, stop reading this, open up a new browser for Netflix, and put it at the top of your queue. Then resume reading this.)

I suppose the have a nice day habit is so ingrained, and in some cases, so required by the corporate script, that such wishes are unavoidable. And truly, there's no way to know whether a patron is having a day so terrible that a cheerfully expressed verbal wish would actually make it worse.

The alternative, I suppose, is that no one would ever wish anyone a good day. I think I'd rather risk being greeted with poorly timed, insincere good wishes than encounter deliberate surliness or indifference.

Have a Nice Day

Some recent management handbook must say that the restaurant host, while seating you, should ask, "So how are you doing today?" I heard those exact words twice last week, first at the IHOP near my home and again at the Olive Garden in Fort Collins (hey, don't judge me – Olive Garden has great salad).

On the surface, it's a harmless question. You're supposed to answer, "Just fine, thanks." But my first instinct is to answer honestly. I doubt if the host wants to know about my sucky day; that my foot hurts and I just backed into another car. What if I just came from the doctor having learned I have a terminal disease?

Less intrusive but still annoying is the common wish people bestow upon strangers: "Have a nice day." At least with that one, there's no opening to discuss my sore foot.

A lot of people don't like "Have a nice day." It doesn't always ring sincere. I've been tempted to answer "Have a nice day" with, "Too late!" But I never have. When you think about it, even if it’s not sincere, the person saying it wouldn’t necessarily want you to have a bad day.

While sometimes irritating, I think I'd rather have these courtesies than the grunts of surly, snarly wait people and store clerks found, for example, in some east coast establishments. They don’t even say thank you, let alone "Have a nice day."

Given the choice I'll take false friendliness to open hostility.

A friendly thank you or even "Have a nice day" shows that a server at least has good manners. And good manners help to keep society civil, which judging from the House of Representatives (brought to you by the Tea Party), is not a bad thing.

So now that I’ve made a hostile comment about the Tea Party, I will sign off. But before I go, I really do hope you have a nice day.