On the surface, it's a harmless question. You're supposed to answer, "Just fine, thanks." But my first instinct is to answer honestly. I doubt if the host wants to know about my sucky day; that my foot hurts and I just backed into another car. What if I just came from the doctor having learned I have a terminal disease?
Less intrusive but still annoying is the common wish people bestow upon strangers: "Have a nice day." At least with that one, there's no opening to discuss my sore foot.
A lot of people don't like "Have a nice day." It doesn't always ring sincere. I've been tempted to answer "Have a nice day" with, "Too late!" But I never have. When you think about it, even if it’s not sincere, the person saying it wouldn’t necessarily want you to have a bad day.
While sometimes irritating, I think I'd rather have these courtesies than the grunts of surly, snarly wait people and store clerks found, for example, in some east coast establishments. They don’t even say thank you, let alone "Have a nice day."
Given the choice I'll take false friendliness to open hostility.
A friendly thank you or even "Have a nice day" shows that a server at least has good manners. And good manners help to keep society civil, which judging from the House of Representatives (brought to you by the Tea Party), is not a bad thing.
So now that I’ve made a hostile comment about the Tea Party, I will sign off. But before I go, I really do hope you have a nice day.
In rules of etiquette, the only appropriate response to the courtesy greeting, "How do you do" is exactly that, "How do you do." (By the way, my name is Erica and I'll be your server, etc.)
ReplyDeleteCivility: It does get harder and harder, ie, the uncivil discourse from the tea party, but you know the best example I have is when I was riding the bus, everyone getting off thanked the driver and I know it was always sincere.
ReplyDeleteClaire B.
Deb's Grandmother passed away a couple of weeks ago and we went up to the funeral in Minnesota. On more than one occasion, as we meet with Deb's Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, I heard myself saying "How is everything?", or "Have a good time." to someone whose Mother had just died. I would usually realize what I was saying about half way through. Talk about socially inappropriate.
ReplyDelete