Once Venerated U.S.A. Plummets into Disgrace

If any day stirs patriotism in the American heart, it’s the Fourth of July. But I won’t be celebrating this year. The thought of waving a flag and declaring that we are the greatest country in the world is laughable.

 

Citizens protest racial injustice in record numbers, disrupting complacency in hundreds of cities and towns across all 50 states. And yet, the inept, immoral president (lower case intended) doubles down on the militarized policing that ignited the protests to begin with. Federal troupes menace fellow citizens as they exercise their American rights to free speech and assembly.

 

Our country should be an example of harmonious diversity to which all others aspire. Instead, multitudes from Berlin to Melbourne take to the streets protesting American racism.

 

Covid-19 runs more rampant here than in any other country. Places identified as shit holes by the same racist president manage the pandemic better.

 

Americans are banned from Europe, parts of Asia, and even Canada because we have failed so badly to combat the virus within our borders.

 

In the midst of this global pandemic, the president, desperately trying to focus the blame somewhere else, carelessly pulls our membership from the World Health Organization.

 

The U.S. should lead the world in fighting disease. Our wealth should create vaccines that we generously share with others.

 

Instead, dimwitted throngs march on state capitals to battle for the fabricated right to not wear disease preventing masks. They do so with blatant disregard for scientific facts and no concern for the public good.

 

I once thought that greed and corruption, persistent evils in the best of countries, could be kept at bay by the determination to live out our ideals. The arc of the moral universe, said the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., would bend towards justice. In spite of occasional backsliding, we were ultimately destined to be the great country we imagined.

 

But evil and corruption have escalated to unprecedented levels. Checks and balances to keep them at bay have been defused.

 

The corrupt elite instigate chaos to distract us from their antics. As a result, we ignore serious threats like climate catastrophe.

 

The criminals running this country are only interested in preserving their own power and wealth. Even the most basic American values don’t interest them. They blithely encourage unthinkable evils such as white supremacy to achieve their goals.

 

And yet.

 

We might have a chance to set things right. In November, we could send a message that corruption will no longer be tolerated. It won’t be easy, however. We must overcome Republican instigated systemic voter suppression, the influence of nefarious countries that manipulate our elections, and the apathy of millions who have not voted in the past.

 

Our reward could be a new United States, a country of which we are truly proud. We could become not the world’s savior, but a responsible citizen nation among others.

 

Republican Glee will be Short Lived

The Mueller report did not say he isn't  corrupt, dishonest, stupid, and the worst thing to happen to the country since 9/11. 

This week Robert Mueller released his report on whether the president (left small case on purpose) was guilty of collusion with the Russians. Apparently, according to a summary of the report, he is not.

How very disappointing for those of us who are convinced he is a crook and needs to be held accountable.

Did Russia or someone get to Mueller and persuade him to come to the "right" conclusion? Did they threaten his family? I want to think that's the only way this could have possibly happened. The evidence seemed pretty clear.

However, the Mueller report did not say Donald Trump was innocent of all crimes. It did not say he isn't  corrupt, dishonest, stupid, and the worst thing to happen to the country since 9/11. There are several more investigations pending.

The report also did not say that Russia didn't interfere with the 2016 election, possibly throwing the electoral victory to Trump. There is every indication they plan to interfere with our elections again. This is still a very serious situation.

I want to deny the report - I was counting on it to justify my dislike for the president. But there's still plenty to justify.

Just because he didn't collude with Russia doesn't mean he's a good guy after all. He still:

• Calls Nazis good people
• Calls other countries shit holes
• Allows for the separation of families and losing of children at the border
• Lies multiple times daily
• Treats his staff terribly
• Comes up with the most absurd conspiracy theories, such as claiming that President Obama didn't have an American birth certificate
• Has sex with prostitutes and used campaign funds to pay them off
• Talks about grabbing the pussies of non-consenting women
• Blatantly spouts racism against Mexicans and Muslims
• Supports tax reform that only benefits the wealthy
• Threw paper towels at the people of Puerto Rico after a devastating hurricane

The results of this report say nothing about:

• The need for national, single payer health care
• The climate change emergency
• The student loan crisis and general decline of education in this country
• The widening of the separation of rich and poor

Those are some of the serious problems that the president either opposes or will not acknowledge.

Republicans should enjoy their victory now. Their gloating days are numbered. History, if nothing else, will expose once and for all the moral corruption of the current administration.

But I think Trump and the Republicans will be held accountable sooner than that. The election of 2020 is coming and we have a chance to decisively and legally remove them from the highest seats of power, making it clear that corruption and dishonesty are not acceptable.

U.S. Continues to Go Downhill

You think the jackass in the White House and the Republicans in congress can't go any lower, but every day they prove us wrong.

I know Michelle Obama said we're supposed to go high when they go low, but come on. How high can we get?

The recent circus around the confirmation of that blustering pig, Brett Kavanaugh, to the now right wing Supreme Court set me on course to yet another depression about the direction of this country.

I grieved, along with more than half of the rest of the U.S., and the rest of the civilized world, about President Dumb Ass's election two years ago and all of the implications of that. Now some of the worst implications are coming to pass with the confirmation of said blustering pig. Added to that, this week's stark news that we have a decade, more or less, to change our ways before global warming is completely irreversible. Meanwhile Donald Dumbo and the Republicants are actually throwing any progress we've made into reverse.

We look with hope to the rest of the world to take the lead on climate. But things are pretty grim out there too. Brexit is a huge distraction for the UK and was brought about by the same problems that brought us President Turd. And Brexit is more irreversible. Germany, a leader in green, is dealing with a growing right wing. The most environmental progress in the world today is being made in, wait, it can't be, China?

Don't think I've spent the past two years just wallowing in depression. I've redirected more of my energy to social justice. We've all but stopped eating red meat. I got myself appointed to my employer's diversity committee. I give to the ACLU. I'm better about speaking up when I see bigotry in action. I'm more aware of my white privilege. I'm not sure how that helps, but it seems important. I'm doing the best I can.

The country is so divided. And one side is so obviously right and the other so clearly wrong. Even after Dumbo is gone, we will still be a divided nation. With a hot world to live in.

There is one thing that can make a big difference. Now. One thing. And that is to change the direction of the congress, and send a message to state and local governments that we the people have had enough. We are in charge. If this is going to be a democracy, then this is how we take our government back. The way to do it is to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. I can't say it enough.

A lot of damage has been done, but we can reverse the red tide. A blue congress can put the brakes on the dump administration and even make some good things happen. Let's make a difference now. Let's vote.

And in case you're wondering, I endorse the Democrat side of the ticket.

Slogging Through the Trump Era

"The United Corporations of America exploit ignorant citizens, largely those who are economically disadvantaged because of those same pro-corporate policies, with propaganda that would shock even George Orwell."

Regular readers of Billsweek have commented that postings have been few and far between. I apologize for neglecting this space, allowing mindless drivel to wash up in its wake on Facebook and in other media.

I like to inject a little humor into these posts, or at least something to think about. But it's been hard to work up the gumption to do that. It's been a depressing year.

The beginning, and it's only the beginning, of the Trump era has left many of us worn out. There are so many things wrong with the country that it's hard to know what to focus on. Every day brings another low point - often lower than the one from the day before. It seems the Republican strategy is to bombard us with outrageousness to the extent that while we're still reeling from yesterday's disaster, they throw another one at us today. We are kept running from protest to protest so we'll be too busy to take in the bigger picture of what they are really doing, which is dismantling the institutions of our democracy that protect civil rights, provide a safety net for the poor, and care for the sick. All the while, they cede more and more power to big business, benefiting only the extremely wealthy and weakening the middle class.

The United Corporations of America exploit ignorant citizens, largely those who are economically disadvantaged because of those same pro-corporate policies, with propaganda (via Fox News and other right wing media) that would shock even George Orwell. The media that our president calls fake news is not the fake news that endangers us, but his favorite program, Fox and Friends, the epitome of fake news. It's enough to make your head spin.

I think what would shock Orwell the most is that the citizenry swallows their propaganda hook, line, and sinker not at the point of a gun, but willingly and freely, drunk on credit fueled consumerism and vapid social media and, yes, fake news.

It's depressing.

Personally, I've had a tough year medically as well, and if politics weren't enough, my energy has been drained by health insurance paperwork, navigating doctors' office bureaucracies, and visits to Rose Medical Center - not to mention the medical conditions themselves.

In short: a bout with pneumonia early in the year uncovered an arterial blockage which led to a stent in my right main artery and a permanent diagnosis of heart disease. Several weeks of cardio-therapy ended just in time for a skin cancer scare which resulted in 2 separate surgeries. The cancer was not the life-threatening terminal kind, but was uncomfortable and inconvenient all the same. These were in addition to my other, pre-existing chronic illnesses which only complicated things with potential drug interactions and a spiderweb of communications between doctors, if I could manage to get them to communicate. All of this was expensive too, and I have health insurance.

Luckily, I have a good job and money in the bank. I have a loving husband and a warm home. I get to travel and have experiences that many others can't. I have the opportunity to serve my community through my church and in other ways.

The challenge is to keep the depressing stuff in perspective and to use the good stuff to slog forward so the bad stuff doesn't stop me. Because if I stop, "they" win. And we can't have that.

Nothing New to Say, but Donald Trump is a Pig

I really have nothing to add to the conversation about what's happening in this country. I can't say anything new. But I'm going to say it anyway.

Donald Trump is a pig.

Perhaps I can be a little more constructive.

Trump and the people he's surrounding himself with are abusing power and pushing the constitution to its limit, just like many of us expected.

Less than a month into his administration, we're a nation in turmoil, demonstrating in the streets, others around the world confused (at best) about our standing in the lineup of nations.

I do not trust our government. I fear that they do outrageous things to distract us while they do other, more dangerous things we don't know about. There is no reassurance forthcoming, and if it were, I wouldn't believe it.

I'm afraid to imagine how bad it could get at this rate and I wonder how far it can go before Congress puts a stop to it, if they can work up the guts to do it.

The people in government I do trust and respect seem unable and/or unwilling to adequately respond to the crisis. I'd like to think they have a plan and are working behind the scenes to effect some sort of impeachment proceedings or something which will save us. But I'm afraid they are too disorganized and just as confused and scrambling as we out in the sticks seem to be.

To reflect on how we got here seems futile at this point, but I can't help but continue to feel dumbfounded that people actually voted for this. What ignorance! Did they really believe that their jobs would come back to them? Did they really think that a New York billionaire who lives in a penthouse relates to them? Understands them?

I look to my faith for comfort. I look to the old Biblical stories where there is hope even in the worst of times, and where there is light even when it is darkest. I remember that in the face of insurmountable evil, we are called to fight for justice and make a difference even in small ways where we can. I remember the parable of the tiny mustard seed that grows into a giant tree.

I also look to history for perspective. This is not the first time that government has turned bad. We are not the first people to take to the streets in protest.

And there is something unique about us: we are are American. We are a mix of freedom loving people who don't like to be messed with, who don't tolerate it when the government goes too far, who won't tolerate it when some line is crossed. We are mostly peaceful in our protest. Remember that huge women's march a couple of weeks ago? 200,000 in Denver and not one arrest. Not one. And once you get our attention, Americans are compassionate. We care about others and we like justice. We value family and relationships and somewhere deep inside, we champion the chutzpah of immigrants who arrive in this country to work hard and build a new life, which is what most immigrants want to do. Sure we are prejudiced, but we've overcome a lot of our bigotry, and once we get to know each other, we see each other as human beings. That will happen the more we demonstrate and come out to defend each other and unite to overcome this current challenge.

Our press is much maligned and battered by changing technology and social media. But the truth about what the government is doing will still come out. Through all the "fake news" and gossip and stuff that doesn't matter, the truth will continue to expose the festering corruption of lies and deceit and people will wake up to the falseness of empty promises and hollow slogans.

Americans don't always do things gently or in the right order. Sometimes we make terrible mistakes. But if you look at history's jagged line, it tends to go in the right direction eventually. The real question is how many will have to suffer this time while we correct the line's direction? How many rights will be trampled? How many will die for lack of health care? How many will perish from being turned away at our borders before we get it right again?

I'm sure the course we're on will be corrected. I just wish we didn't have to go through everything we have to go through to get there.

Mary's Tired Feet in the Time of Trump

You think it's tough being a progressive liberal in the time of Trump, try being a Jew under Roman occupation a couple of thousand years ago.

Mary was just a teenager, finding herself pregnant and attached to Joseph who was probably just as bewildered as she was. As if that weren't enough, they had to walk - WALK - from Nazareth to Bethlehem to take part in a census. They didn't have cars in those days, or buses. The mythology presumes they had a donkey, but there is no scriptural evidence of that. Even if they did, one donkey for two people, one of whom was pregnant, wasn't going to speed things up much. As part of an occupied people, they didn't have any choice in the matter. They had to go.

We always see the beautiful creche, so lovely and serene, with angels floating above, gentle farm animals laying about (again, no scriptural basis, except for sheep, which can be inferred by the presence of the shepherds). We don't think much about the walk. The dusty, sweaty walk to Bethlehem and how dirty their feet must have been, and how tired and sore those feet were. Much is made of foot washing in the Gospel. That is why. When you walk everywhere in sandals on dusty unpaved roads, your feet get pretty dirty. Add to that a late term pregnancy. Can you imagine the misery?

And then, to reach your destination only to find that there are no vacancies at any of the inns. Wouldn't that just about push you over the limit?

The storytellers who passed the Gospels down first orally, then in writing, must have glossed over it a bit. After all, this was about the birth of Jesus Christ. It would be unseemly to portray Mary as exhausted and Joseph as grouchy. But if there's any truth to the story, you know they were at the end of their rope when they reached Bethlehem and thought they couldn't go on, only they had to. It had to be a relief to finally be able to take shelter in nothing more than a stupid barn.

I don't know much about childbirth, but I'm sure a barn is less than ideal.

Veneration of Christ as the divine Messiah is all well and good, but the point of the Christmas story is to show that Jesus was born as a person sent by God to live among regular human beings so that we could relate to him, and he to us. If Jesus's mother could have dirty tired feet, if she could be exhausted and even grouchy, then I can relate to that.

Jesus didn't grow up in a royal household, surrounded by privilege and luxury. He probably lived a middle class life at best, educated and cared for, but hardly spoiled. We don't know a lot about his early life, but his parents weren't rich. They most likely worked hard, lost their patience occasionally, but did the best they could.

There were always the Romans to deal with. Those oppressors who would eventually arrest and execute Jesus, who would himself suffer exhaustion, pain, and even death at their hands.

I don't care whether the story is literally true. It's a great story. It inspires me, as it has others for many hundreds of years, to try to keep our own exhaustion, our dirty feet, our pain, our perseverance, and even our deaths, in perspective.

Because it doesn't end there. Jesus's life and death, his exhaustion, his parents' dirty feet, his sacrifice meant something. It reminds us that human though we are, as Jesus was sent as God to live among us, we are made in the image of God to live among each other. He brought, and brings, hope, healing, and love to a broken, suffering world. We are meant to do the same.

I am depressed about what is happening in the world today. To keep from falling into utter hopelessness this week, I'm meditating on Mary's tired feet. How she must have wondered if she could continue. But she carried hope, healing, and love within her. She had to go on.

The Four Other Stages of Grief

I, like many of you, am grieving about the shocking and horrifying election of Donald Trump to the U.S. Presidency on a wave of populism fueled in large part by racism, sexism, and anti-immigration.

I believe it is necessary to grieve now in order to properly respond to the challenges of the next few years.

What is often not understood about the five stages of grief, first written about by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, is that they don't always occur one at a time or in linear fashion. Often, they overlap or occur intermittently. I've already covered denial in a previous BillsWeek entry. Now, I thought I'd hammer out some thoughts about the other stages. Sharing in this way helps me cope with my own grieving. Plus, I'm not sleeping and I have nothing better to do right now.

For the record, what I say here reflects either my own thinking or something I've overheard from others. These reflections don't necessarily reflect my exact point of view. Or maybe they do.

Bargaining

• The people who elected him aren't really racist (sexist, etc.). They were voting for Trump for some other reason.
• He was polite to President Obama when he visited the White House. Maybe he's not so bad after all. Let's give him a chance.
• He did hold up that rainbow flag that one time (even though it was upside down).
• Maybe his stupidity (and/or other shortcomings) will render his presidency ineffective. Perhaps if we give him enough rope, he'll hang himself. 
• Since he was so slippery and flip floppy on issues during the campaign, perhaps he isn't as conservative as we fear. Maybe he only acted that way to get elected.
• He was once a Democrat and a friend of the Clintons. Maybe he's a liberal in disguise. 
• Let's just be really nice to our racist neighbors and try to get along with everyone. 
• Ok, we don't have to be anti-gun. Let's just be "pro-gun safety."

Hmmm. I see why this one usually comes right after denial.

Anger

• If you voted for Trump, explain to your Black/ Muslim/ Immigrant/ LGBT neighbor/ coworker/ friend/ family member why they don't matter to you.
• Since our citizenship and civil rights are under fire, can you be surprised that we are questioning our patriotism?
• How can you come to my home, have friendly conversation with my boyfriend, attend my wedding, and still vote for Donald Trump? Don't you know what I have to lose? Don't you know what the stakes are? Don't you really care about me at all?
• Be alert for that "Kristallnacht" event to happen when the KKK and other thugs start destroying the property and lives of minorities, first without consequences, and then with the endorsement and support of the government. Think it can't happen? It was less than a century ago in a first world country called Germany...

 When you think about it, anger is really just fear turned inside out. It's what has motivated the other side to become so hateful. Fear is what fuels bigotry. It's why a great Presbyterian minister, Jane Spahr, once said, we must love them through their fear. Easier said than done.

Depression

• Can we just go to bed and wait until this is all over?
• Isolation: no talking to friends, no allowing for the comfort of company. Being alone seems less painful, somehow, even though it probably isn't.
• Music might help. Where are those old Peter, Paul, and Mary recordings?
• Depression is the scary one for some of us who have suffered from the chronic, clinical disease of the same name. We fear that if we give into this one, we'll be stuck in it and unable to get out. To us, depression looks like a long, dark, sucking tunnel that pulls you in when you haven't the strength to fight it. It gets all mixed up with the normal, circumstantial depression that happens to everyone when some terrible, external event happens.

Acceptance

• I don't accept this. Racism, sexism, and homophobia are not acceptable norms.
• I don't accept that the U.S.A. is over.
• We can only clearly see what's behind us. What is in front of us can only be estimated at best, and that is often informed by fear. Think of how frightened people were at other times in history when our national life felt threatened and the future was seriously in question: the Cuban missile crisis, Watergate, the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy, and 9/11, just to name a few. Remember how frightened we were, and how shocked. At times we were despondent and hopeless. We always came through it. We always had a response, sometimes a questionable and debatable response, but we did respond. We never just rolled over and let it get to us. We're Americans, goddamnit!
• I do accept Elizabeth Warren's challenge to get involved; to volunteer, to connect with others, to add my voice to others' voices so that we are heard.
• I accept that every couple of years we get to elect new representatives. Look out bitches, mid-terms are only two years away.

Denial is a Good Stage

Crawling out of bed this morning felt like climbing out of ashen ruins after the apocalypse. The extra dose of Seroquel I took helped me sleep after the nightmarish election returns, but didn't make getting up in a strange new world any easier.

The world initially didn't look any different. The cats needed feeding. The coffee needed making. The dishwasher, having been run overnight, needed emptying. I didn't want to shave, but I did. Clyde woke up by himself today so I didn't have to wake him.

We eventually got around to turning on the TV just to make sure it wasn't all a bad dream. It wasn't. Trump was elected, oh my god, I can't even say it.

The world was looking a little different after all.

Like many others, I live in a bubble of like-minded people. Almost everyone I know - friends and family, people I like and hang out with, have the same political views. I read and listen to news that reinforces what I already think and believe. So it's not a surprise when I say that I really don't know very many people that voted for Donald Trump; just a few people at work and on Facebook. In fact, the state I live in (Colorado) didn't go to him in the electoral collage. I have that thread to hold on to. So I simply can't wrap my head around how this disaster happened.

And I'm not even close to ready to contemplate the implications of a republican house and senate (no, I don't intend to capitalize those words for the next four years at least).

I'm still stunned and in shock. I haven't yet declared myself "no longer American," like some others I'm reading about. My extended family is hatching a pretty serious sounding plan to move to Canada. Even though it's guaranteed to be warmer up there in the future (thanks to runaway climate change), I'm not quite yet ready to go. I'm still waiting for it all to sink in.

I'm sure that later I'll be enraged. I'm sure that I'll be terrified. Later. I'm sure I'll be sad. Hopefully at some point in the future I'll be motivated towards activism, but that's not happening yet.

I think this is the denial stage. It's a good stage. This is the stage where you go on doing things which keep you going. So I eat, I work, I feed the cats. If not for denial, I couldn't function at all. I'd just curl up in a ball and not move. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

Caught Between a Dumbass and a "Bitch" - Does it Really Matter?

As often happens, the office chatter around me zeroed in on this year's unusual presidential election. Typical of the national conversation, my coworkers could neither comprehend ignorant dumb ass Donald Trump, nor could they fathom a bitch like Hillary Clinton at the presidential helm.

With earphones stuck to my head and my eyes glued to the monitors, I really tried to stay out of it. No one's mind is ever changed by these conversations, and while most of the others treat the topic as casually as they do a jawing about local sports, I would just get really mad and take it personally if I got involved.

But when one of the senior managers pronounced that in fact, it didn't really matter who was elected because none of our lives would actually change based on the outcome, I just about boiled over.

"That's easy to say if you're a straight, white man who has lived in privilege all his life," I fumed. "You take your wife for granted and you don't have to worry that the next Supreme Court appointment could lead to the invalidation of your legal marriage. You have never had your civil rights threatened by a majority vote of your fellow citizens. You have never been threatened with ejection from your home country just because your parents immigrated without proper papers when you were too young to understand what was happening. You were never denied the right to vote just because you didn't have a current driver's licence..."

... is what I would have said, had I been participating in the conversation.

Just to clarify, I don't think Hillary Clinton is a bitch. That's just what some people I work with think.

I've never understood why so many people hate Hillary Clinton so much. To many, she represents cold, conniving liberalism at its worst. She is seen as a shrill, calculating, and ruthlessly ambitious liar.

Of course, many of these adjectives wouldn't be nearly so uncomplimentary if they were describing a man. Men who are ruthless and ambitious are actually admired. And they are never described as shrill.

I have always really liked Hillary. Ever since her controversial 1992 comments that she wasn't just some cookie baking housewife standing by her man, I've admired her intelligence and chutzpah.

She has always come across to me as warm and hard working, deliberate and thoughtful. So sometimes she's a little awkward when she tries to tell a joke, but hey, do we need a comedian in the White House or a President? Hillary is an effective behind the scenes leader who works well with others to get things done, as demonstrated by her performance in the U.S. Senate. Sure she's outspoken, and her views have evolved. She is tough but has a human side as well, though she is criticized for showing the slightest emotion - the woman can't win, really. She's either too tough or too vulnerable.

For the "family values crowd," she takes marriage more seriously than many Republican counterparts, having never been divorced though it would have been totally justified had she chosen to do so. I love that she's a committed member of the United Methodist Church. Let's see, has Donald Trump been divorced? Is he a church member?

As for her alleged "crimes" - Benghazi, the email scandal, Vince Foster's suicide ... One by one, Clinton has been repeatedly cleared of wrongdoing, or doing nothing outside of what was normally also done by Republican peers. The fact is, Republicans can't find that she's done anything really wrong, so they make stuff up or exaggerate because they can't stand the thought of her coming into power.

And while I'm at it:

I really don't understand why so many people are supporting a Trump presidency. He has consistently and blatantly lied. He has demonstrated tremendous lack of knowledge about general civics (such as how government and elections work). He has openly declared and bragged about his own racism and ignorance regarding the world outside of the U.S. He has brazenly offended entire populations of the world with Mexicans and Muslims leading the way. It totally defies logic that he could be elected - and yet he is going to be the Republican nominee.

Donald would make a terrible President. If he even listened to advisers, they'd have to spend their time teaching him the basics of how law is made and why he can't just do whatever he wants because Congress figures in there somewhere. All constitutional checks and balances would be sent into overdrive just to make sure his whimsical power trips don't upset the fragile nature of our form of government.

At least we are presented with a choice this election season. I remember elections past when people complained that there was really no difference between the candidates.

I'm getting married this summer. To a man. For the first time in my life, this is legal in every U.S. state. It isn't too much of a stretch of the imagination to comprehend that if Donald Trump is elected, he could appoint someone to the Supreme Court who could reverse the decisions that made my legal marriage possible. That would only be the beginning.

The person who ends up being President matters to me, to a lot of people, personally.