Grandpa Rambles On About the Moon Landing

"Pay attention to this," my first grade teacher, Mrs. Hedgecock scolded. "You can tell your grandchildren that you remember when man first walked on the moon."

Grandchildren? As a seven year old, I was more struck by the idea of having grandchildren than I was about the moon landing. The most I aspired to being in those days was a clown or maybe a teenager. Mrs. H was, however, mostly right. Ok, I don't have grandchildren, but I'm old enough to corner my nieces' and nephew's kids and tell them that a thing or two happened before they were born.

50 years ago, almost beyond comprehension, an insurmountable barrier was broken and actual earthbound beings traveled to that other world in the sky and came back to tell the tale.

Not only did "man" go to the moon, but the unexpected byproducts added much to our lives. For one thing, we got expressions such as, "They can send a man to the moon, but they can't (make a toaster that works right, build a toilet that doesn't run, synchronize the traffic light at Eighth and Colorado, or just fill in the blank with your own technological frustration)."

We also got Tang. Until I was in high school, I thought the breakfast drink made from dark yellow powder was the same as orange juice. It was advertised, actually, to have more vitamin C than orange juice. For sure it had more sugar. Or has. Is Tang still a thing? I recently read that we probably would have had Tang even if astronauts hadn't consumed it in space. I wonder if they really did drink Tang. Has 60 Minutes done an investigation about this?

So what have we done since 50 years ago? I'm sure everyone thought we would have colonized Mars by now, or at least have settlements on that same now accessible moon.

I'd hate to disappoint the people of 1969, but no one has made it to Mars. We did send machines to Mars to dig holes and get stuck in craters. We had a Shuttle program come and go, and we participate in the International Space Station. Our robots photograph the rings of Saturn up close and fly by places as distant as Pluto, the dwarf formerly known as a planet. Voyager I, launched in the 70s, now hurdles beyond our solar system towards a  star called AC +79 3888 which it will reach in about 40,000 years. We've actually recorded the image of a real black hole.

But we should have accomplished more since 1969. The American obsession with cutting taxes has left us with a shell of the space program we once had. Taxpayers fail to support education resulting in our nation ranking below half the others in STEM education.

In case you don't know, STEM stands for science, technology, engineering, and math.

We take technology for granted with no idea where it came from. Our smart phones have more technology than Apollo 11 and what do we do with them? We send each other emojis and settle trivial arguments by googling things.

I doubt if old Mrs. Hedgecock is still around, but if she were, what would she think about my not having grandchildren?

Surviving the Diet of the 1970s

I thought orange juice and Tang, a sugary drink made from dusty yellow powder, were the same thing until I was in high school. Of course Tang was marketed as what the astronauts drank, so that made it ok.

A New York Strip, perfectly grilled, delicately sliced into a bite sized morsel with a sharp knife, a tiny drop of peppercorn sauce quivering on the surface as I lift it to my mouth with a fork, juicy flavor flowing around my tongue, making me reluctant to swallow as it melts away.

That was the 50 dollar steak I had the other night. It was fantastic.

I didn't have a good steak until well into my 20s. In my experience, steak was always fatty and required endless chewing before you could swallow it. I'd heard it could be grilled, but my mother always prepared it in a frying pan. I don't think we even had a grill in my childhood home.

My family was pretty well off. We had the biggest house on the street. We had 3 cars. We  took nice vacations with our motor home and spent culturally uplifting weekends in the city. We had a swimming pool in the back yard. My siblings and I expected to be sent to college. We didn't show off, but we were clearly not poor.

So it baffled us that Mom scrimped and saved pennies as if we were still in the Great Depression. We existed on the cheapest cuts of meat and the lowest quality store brand instant foods. The milk we drank as children was made from powder in a box. It was terrible. I hate drinking milk to this day, and will only put Vitamin D whole milk on my cereal. I thought orange juice and Tang, a sugary drink made from dusty yellow powder, were the same thing until I was in high school. Of course Tang was marketed as what the astronauts drank, so that made it ok.

I don't think it was just my mom. In the 1970s, between inflation and middle class mothers going to work outside the home, nutrition was a secondary consideration compared to saving money and saving time.

Vegetables? Always canned. I didn't set my eyes upon fresh asparagus until I was in college. Green beans were soft and squishy as were peas. Exotic vegetables were the mushy "Chinese" variety in the can of chow mien purchased from the ethnic shelf at the grocery store.  I'll never forget my first water chestnut.

Today's moms would shudder at the nutritional value of what we ate as children: sugar coated cereals (preferably generic), lifeless white iceberg lettuce dressed up with fake bacon bits and Nebraska's famous Dorothy Lynch salad dressing, as much Kool-Aid as we could drink (in place of expensive carbonated sodas), dry Hydrox cookies (cheaper than Oreos), and sandwiches made from big yellow blocks of Velveeta imitation cheese-like substance along with Miracle Whip spread (not mayonnaise) and the store's cheapest (whitest) bread.

For the record, there was no such thing as "gluten free." We'd never heard of a Vegan. Vegetarians were hippies that lived out in far away California.

It's not like we weren't cared for. Mom made sure we had 3 solid meals a day. We never missed a breakfast, lunch, or dinner. We'd even get a special treat every now and then. For example, we'd occasionally get a Tony's frozen pizza with bits of pepperoni or something that passed for sausage on top.

If Mom needed a break, Dad would pick up a bag of McDonalds hamburgers and fries. He never got cokes though - we saved money by washing those fries down with Kool-Aid or Tang.

I'm a little surprised that obesity rates are higher now. That probably has to do with the amount of moving around that kids did then compared to now. There were only 3 channels on the TV. We didn't have computers and iPhones so we had time to go outside and run off all that fat and sugar.

Eating Cheap Long Term Consequences

Conscientious parents make sure that kids eat healthy. It is paramount that sugar be kept to a minimum. Fruit instead of cookies. Milk instead of pop.

It wasn't always this way. I recently produced a cook book from recipes my mother used over the years. It brought back memories, to say the least.

When I was a kid, my mother valued saving money more than nutrition. Sometimes she went a little overboard. But in the inflation besotted years of the 1970s, particularly for a mom who grew up on a Nebraska farm in the Depression, saving money was the most important thing.

It's not that we were poor. We had a large sprawling house, three cars, a swimming pool, and room for a pony (that is a reference to Hyacinth Bucket – don’t worry if you don’t know her). But Mom never got over the fear that someday, she might end up back in her dust bowl childhood with no indoor plumbing or electricity.

Unlike me, Mom grew up poor. Walking to the outhouse in the middle of a winter night was a chilly endeavor. And there was no air conditioning in the summer. On truly hot nights, a wet sheet might have to suffice. You had to choose between opening the window for the slight chance of a stray breeze or closing it to keep mosquitoes out.

I'm not sure what she ate as a kid, but she did mention seeing live chickens in the yard some mornings, followed by fresh fried chicken for dinner.

When I came along in the 1960-70s, you no longer had to see your food alive. It was the age of convenience food, pre-packaged, pre-health craze. All that mattered to my mother was that it was cheap.

I didn't know until high school that Tang and orange juice weren't the same thing. My sister and I, however, were acutely aware that drinking Carnation powdered milk was not the same as having the real thing. I, for one, was traumatized by that clump of undesolved off-white goo in the bottom of my glass. To this day, I can barely stomach milk except on cereal - and it helps if it's whole milk or cream.

But I do have fond memories of other food items from the 1970s. There are some which today's parents wouldn't allow near their children, but that are comfort food for us.

What aging Boomer doesn't secretly prefer Wonder Bread? Come on, you know you do. Well, I don't, but I think a lot of other people do. Slap some Miracle Whip and baloney between a couple slices, and BAM, you're a child again.

There's lots of other stuff we loved back then that we don't see often in this Whole Foods world. Velveeta processed "cheese-like" product. SPAM broiled in brown sugar. Jello with carrot shavings (a salad) and Jello with Dream Whip (dessert). Some cooking trends from those days are a little hard to believe. But did those overly processed foods hurt us, after all? Well, I do struggle with weight. I would rather eat cake than pita bread. But I would also rather have orange juice than Tang. And in the end, I'm pretty good at saving money.