Making the "A" List

 I've never been in the "A" group.

When I was a kid, I was strictly a B student. Socially, I was either a loner or a music/theatre nerd. Notice how I spell theatre? That's how theatre nerds spell it.

As an adult, I've rarely rubbed elbows with the "A" Gays, a status conscious caste of gay men - their expensive fashion, cars, homes, and "A" list parties hold little attraction for me. My idea of a good party is to eat pizza and listen to music from the '80s. Come to think of it, I have a lot of parties by myself.

Anyway, being an "A" lister was never something to which I aspired. Until a business trip a couple of weeks ago when I had to fly Southwest Airlines.

If you've flown Southwest, you know what I'm talking about. On a normal airline you can reserve a seat ahead of time, indicating your preference of window or aisle and choosing whether to sit at the front of the plane where it's less bumpy or in the rear where you're more likely to survive a crash. On Southwest, they don't assign seats. You have to compete with other passengers while being herded onto the plane like cattle.

In order to avoid a total stampede, Southwest thoughtfully divides the passengers into three groups. When you get your boarding pass, instead of a seat number, it tells you whether you're in group A, B, or C. The A group gets to board first. The B group boards after the A group, and the C group is just pathetically out of luck, destined to fill up the middle seats, sitting crammed between two other passengers with their elbows turned inward towards their ribs.

For the first flight, I did everything right, at least what I usually do for a normal, assigned seat, airline. I logged into the Southwest web site the night before and printed my boarding pass. Out came a piece of paper with a great big C on it. Good grief! All the A and B passes were already gone. What if I'd waited to check in until I got to the airport? Could I even get on the plane?

The next day at Denver International Airport, I had to watch while the A group lined up and slowly boarded, their huge carry-on bags promising to take up even more room. Then I watched as the B group, slightly more lackluster, did the same. Then the Cs were called. My group of sad sacks. C stands for clueless, I thought. Those not savvy enough to get their boarding passes adequately early.

I'm not a very competitive person. I hate sports and I don't strive to be the first to have the latest anything (technology, car, what have you). But you'd better believe that for the return flight, I logged in exactly 24 hours before takeoff, the soonest they allow you to do it, and got an A boarding pass. I was not going to be in the Clueless group again.

My next flight isn't until November but I've already made my reservation. As I booked the ticket on the United Airlines website, I went to the graphic of the 787 Dreamliner plane and clicked on the most convenient looking aisle seat. There will be plenty of stress on that long flight. Wondering where I'm going to sit will not be part of it.

Denver: 20 Years, 20 Changes

I was recently asked if I'd be willing to relocate to Chicago in a year or two. I surprised myself by not saying no. I arrived in Colorado two decades ago hoping to settle down - plant some roots if you will. Well, like airports, convention centers, Frontier Airlines, and sport/concert venues, my roots have gone deep, been dug up, replanted, and dug up again. Nothing stays the same long in this town. Why should I? Here's a sampling of the changes I've seen since 1989:

1. May D&F department stores - GONE
2. Cinderella City, once the ultimate in malls, THE place to go see Santa - GONE
3. Convenient local airport - GONE - replaced by a more modern, state-of-the-art version way out on the plains (no pun intended). One of the world's most sophisticated airports, the circus tent-like roof tears under heavy snow.
4. Elitches amusement park - GONE - I'm talking about the real Elitches, the one that was in northeast Denver forever; the one where my grandparents married in 1910.
5. Celebrity Fun Center - GONE - a Home Depot has replaced the billiards, games, and indoor pool with a slide - a great place to dump the kids on a cold day.
6. The old Tattered Cover bookstore- GONE - but now there are three new Tattered Covers.
7. Light Rail Transit - the opposite of gone.
8. Union Station - still here, but that was a close one ...
9. The Art Museum used to look like a prison. Now it looks like – I don't know what it looks like – a boat that fell over or something.
10. LODO is transformed and trendy - LOwer DOwntown used to be a vast and vacant warehouse district. It's now home to Coors Field and lots of popular breweries, lofts, galleries, and trendy hangout type places.
11. Cherry Creek Mall - here, again (there was an old one in the mid 20th century that featured a Sears instead of Saks Fifth Avenue).
12. The Mousetrap - rebuilt; doesn't look as much like a mousetrap as it used to; now more often called the intersection of I-25 and I-70.
13. Architecture is more interesting now: for example, the renovated Denver Public Library (main branch).
14. Frontier out - Continental out (mostly) - Western Pacific in then out - Frontier back in - Southwest in - Frontier probably about to be out again.
15. The Denver Country Club has had its first African American member - Former Mayor Wellington Webb, only because the mayor automatically becomes a member.
16. Television: Channels 7, 9, and 4 are all affiliated with different networks now. Channel 2, once known as Channel 2, is now "The Duce."
17. Toll roads. TOLL ROADS for crying out loud!!
18. TABOR*
19. The fall and rise and fall again of the Republican party, and right-wing extremism - not that those two are necessarily linked.
20. And finally, the biggest change to hit Denver in the past 20 years: I'm here now!

* Tax Payer Bill of Rights - a tragic over-reaction to wasteful government spending which actually harms education, law enforcement, transportation, and other publicly funded necessities.


So I didn't say no, but I have to think about my price.

What would it take to move me to Chicago? Perhaps that's the subject for another blogcast.