Once or twice a year, I might go on a date.
I thought by my age I'd be either comfortably settled with
someone or too old to care. Neither is the case.
In fact, I have a couple of online personal ads posted. They
are old and dusty, lying unused save for the occasional update when my weight
or hair (amount or color) changes.
Once in a while an ad gets answered by an impossibly good
looking 25 year old in someplace like Nigeria who needs me to send him some
money so he can escape persecution... you get the idea.
So personal ads don't work for me. Problem is, I don't know
what would work. I'm too old to go clubbing - I'm asleep by 9:00 and bars don't
heat up until 11:00, or so I'm told. I don't meet potential dates at work -
everyone there is way too young, straight, or married. I used to meet
boyfriends at church, but I've been going to the early service lately which is
mostly the domain of senior citizens, for the moment just a little too old for
me.
Gay men my age don't seem to be available. Like me, they
have busy lives and limited time. Careers are in full swing. Many have elderly
parents, or children and grandchildren to care for. Most have dogs and cats
which take priority, as well they should. They, and I, are not interested in
wasting time on someone with whom we know it won't work.
I'd rather be alone than tolerate someone who I discover on
the third date is, for example, a Republican. And face it: I'd rather get a
good night's sleep than stay up late getting to know someone who turns out to
be allergic to my cats.
Why should I even try at all? While I'm happy and well-adjusted
as single, I don't want to be alone all of the time. I occasionally desire
human companionship - someone to share experiences with.
Is the effort to find such a relationship worth it? When
it's 8:30 and I'm sleepy and the cats are curling around me on the bed, I'm not
sure it is.
I don't need a boyfriend or husband to be complete. But it
might be nice to find someone who could squeeze in alongside the cats.
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