Flu Forces Extended Stay at Home

Forced by the B strain of this year's influenza virus to stay home for several days and do nothing, I'm here to tell you that missing work and watching TV all day is not all it's cracked up to be. For one thing, I was miserable most of that time, sporting a fever that averaged 101, coughing so much I thought I broke a rib, and shivering with chills so severe that every blanket in the house couldn't keep me warm.

I know you're wondering, and yes, I did get a flu shot back in October. Lot of good that did.

My boss wants to know why I keep telling people it was the B strain. I don't know, but that's what my doctor told me. It seems more official than when people get a stomachache and say they have "the flu."

During those moments when I felt slightly better, say, having just mastered sucking on an ice cube, or when my temp dipped to 99 and my head didn't pound as much, I perused Facebook and posted what I thought through my feverish stupor were clever little gems of wisdom. When I look at them now through the clarity of 98.6, I see that among other things, I ranted at an ice cream truck's endless looping music,  and complained that my actual hair hurt. I generally don't put intimate and personal information on Facebook, but I did keep the entire webosphere appraised of my temperature. Fortunately I did not report on the ongoing consistency of my nose mucus.

And I had my phone to play with. I think I exchanged some foggy texts with my sister and brother but I'm not sure. I must have alarmed my sister because she checked in every couple hours for a couple days. It kept me from climbing the walls.

I learned that Alfalfa's in Boulder has great chicken soup. Clyde brought it to me.

I also learned that taking Clyde to urgent care after being cooped up for so long was like going on a vacation. He also got the bug, but having gone on tamaflu the day I was diagnosed, his encounter with the virus wasn't quite as bad as mine.

Like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, I kept a close eye on my neighbors. I didn't have the strength to rage at them through the window like I usually do, but I managed to quietly judge their actions, particularly during those walks of shame that occur just before dawn. It was also fun judging the man who wore VERY comfortable shorts on his deck while talking on the phone all day long. Kind of made me miss licra shorts guy who lived there before.

A building down the block was getting a new roof. I watched the workers up there for half a day before I realized I wasn't hallucinating them. No wonder they never started flying.

Now recovered, I'm still a little weak and I'm coughing a lot. I have to go back to work. I wish I could just stay home a few more days and really enjoy some TV.