Saturday, April 21, 2012

Bob Calkins, 1925-2012

Robert Calkins passed away in his Fort Collins, Colorado home on Thursday, April 19, 2012. 

A family physician who later became a psychiatrist, he was an active teacher and community volunteer right up to the end.

Born in Beatrice, Nebraska in 1925, Bob served as a medical officer in the U.S. Navy during the Korean war. He married Harriet Rickertsen in 1955 and they remained together 50 years until her death. In Kimball, Nebraska he practiced general family medicine until 1970 when he pursued a degree in psychiatry from the University of Nebraska Medical Center. From 1973 to 1988, he practiced psychiatry in Scottsbluff, Nebraska, followed by a brief period in Cheyenne, Wyoming, before retiring in Fort Collins, Colorado.

In Fort Collins, Bob was active in many community organizations, including the Kiwanis; Front Range Forum (where he both attended and facilitated classes); Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Bisexuals, and Transgendered Persons (PFLAG); and the local senior center. He served on the ethics committee of Poudre Valley Hospital, was on the board of Northern Colorado Hospice, and was a very active member of Plymouth Congregational Church (UCC).

He is mourned by his children, Susan Bodar (Jerry) of Dubois, Wyoming; David Calkins (Anne Talbot) of Scottsbluff; Bill Calkins of Denver; and Carol Calkins (Mike Moyer) of Cheyenne, Wyoming; three grandchildren, Justin Eckland (Heidi) of Sterling, Colorado; Hannah Calkins of Washington, DC; and Brooke Bodar of Dubois. He also has one surviving brother, Raymond Calkins, of Lincoln, Nebraska, two great grandchildren, and a beloved dog, Peggy.

Music was one of his life’s greatest pleasures. He listened to the Metropolitan Opera on the radio every Saturday for years, and eventually attended the live broadcasts of the Met at the local movie theatre. He was, himself, an accomplished musician, performing as a tenor in many venues. He was very fond of organ music and delighted in the performances of his own children.

Bob will be remembered for his kindness and infectious sense of humor. He was a loving and generous father, husband, mentor, and friend, and a long time advocate for the sick, injured, and mentally ill.

In lieu of flowers, his wishes were for memorial donations to be given to PFLAG Fort Collins (305 West Magnolia, PMB 117, Fort Collins, CO 80521).

A memorial service will be held Saturday April 28, at 2:00 p.m., at Plymouth Congregational Church (UCC), 916 West Prospect, Fort Collins, Colorado.
Go to www.goesfuneralcare.com for an extended obituary and to sign the guest book for those that cannot attend the service.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Resistance to Change in a Chaotic World

I recently returned to work from a week of vacation only to learn that my department had moved to a different part of the building while I was gone. I trusted that my coworkers would make sure my stuff was moved, but the prospect of not being able to find my new office, wandering among cardboard boxes in half empty cubicles looking for familiar objects like my picture of Scottsbluff National Monument and hoping that someone remembered to pack that extra stash of paper clips I had been hoarding, was stressful enough to undo all the relaxation of my time away.

On my weekly visit to Village Inn, Betty, the server, asked me if I needed to see the menu or would I have the usual. As if I order the same thing every Wednesday morning when I’m there. My coffee and large water were already on the table before I arrived. I may just surprise her and order something different someday.

It's been implied that I am resistant to change! Can you imagine? Why just yesterday, I was telling someone how flexible I am. This was after I told them about my 12th annual vacation to San Diego.

Is it so bad to be set in your ways? Perhaps I'm not as adventurous as some people, but I like knowing what to expect. It's a chaotic world where sometimes traumatic change is thrust upon us. My preference is to not be surprised.

I tried to explain that to a guy I've gone out with a few times who was thinking of different date activities we could try. It seems he was worried that we would get bored by always having lunch and watching a movie on Saturdays when we get together. Perhaps we might, he suggested, go to the zoo or take a drive in the mountains, and maybe we could meet some other day besides Saturday. But I like lunch and a movie, I explained. I know what to expect on Saturdays that way.

Lest you think I'm not flexible, I'll have you know that I'm getting ready to replace my entire home entertainment system with a better one. I've been talking about it for a year or so and I'm just about ready to start to think about ordering the components and changing the furniture to accommodate the new system. On the other hand, what's the hurry? What I have works just fine. So what if the TV is not HD and I can't read subtitles on the old glass screen?

I admit I am a creature of habit. Perhaps I could challenge myself a bit. Perhaps I'll think about it over dinner from the chicken teriyaki take out place - where I order the number one every Monday night. But see, sometimes I go on Tuesday or Saturday, so there.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dreams Interrupted

Dreams can give lots of insight. In the drives for passion and food, for example, what do you suppose my dreams say about me?

I am standing in line at McDonalds contemplating the consumption of a big mac, fries, and a diet (of course) coke. Suddenly, a sexy man cuts into line in front of me, turns around, and, well, let's just say that, as usual, I wake up before it gets really good.

What sticks with me is not just the vivid nature of the dream but the utter disappointment which occurred when a cat's cold nose entered my ear and woke me up. Most of the frustration was not that the man part of the dream was interrupted, though it was certainly vivid and ended prematurely. Instead, I was distressed about waking up before I got to eat that food.

You see, it's been over a year since I've eaten a big mac. Since starting Weight Watchers 18 months ago, I've only been to McDonalds once and that was because I was stranded at an airport for several hours and had a voucher to use.

 I know that McDonalds is not on anyone's list of fine foods. Even among fast food and burgers, it doesn't measure up to finer chains like Fat Burger and Five Guys and Smash Burger. Colorado may soon have In-N-Out Burger, but big macs are here now. You can find McDonalds virtually everywhere, and the quality is consistent - you know what you are getting every time.

When I used to eat approximately one big mac every ten days, I'd remove the pickles and the excess lettuce and squeeze on a single packet of ketchup. I'd hold all the layers in place as I took that first bite. Exquisite.

Big macs are probably the single worst thing you can eat. Well, it's probably worse to eat a whole pizza at a single sitting, which I also used to do, but I'll save that for another essay. Besides, I don't dream about pizza. I dream about those two all-beef patties, special sauce, and all that other stuff.

Occasionally, I consider splurging on a mac, but I'm kind of proud of my months of denial. Plus, if I have to blow that many Weight Watcher points, I'd rather really go all out on something spectacular like, well, a Fat Burger.

I'm sorry, were you hoping for more about the other part of the dream?