Boy, did I go on a bender.
I’m not talking about alcohol. I don’t touch the stuff.
Party drugs? Hardly.
Sex? I wish ...
No, this was a gigantic, out of control, week-long, food binge.
My annual vacation to San Diego was great. I attended a workshop, hiked for miles along cliffs and beaches, observed newborn seals nursing, and drove with the windows down. There was, however, a darker side. It seems that six months of disciplined Weight Watchers goes right out the window when I’m away from home.
To start with, I went to IHOP on the way to the airport. IHOP is very interesting at 3:00 a.m. when the booths are full of the post-bar crowd, roughly counting great amounts of cash and seemingly unaware of Colorado’s smoking laws.
Anyway, it was “All You Can Eat Pancake Day.” The pancake breakfast comes with hash browns, bacon, and eggs. I very sensibly skipped the eggs (I’m allergic). But have you had IHOP pancakes lately? They’re so fluffy. I had to have a second serving. It was going to be a long day, and I didn’t know when I was going to eat again.
By the time I got to the airport I wanted a diet coke. I got to the cookie place on Consourse A just as they were pulling the giant fresh snickerdoodles out of the oven. Hot cookies go well with diet coke.
I think I blacked out after that. The next thing I remember was sitting in a booth at the Point Loma (San Diego) Dennys sinking my teeth into a patty melt where the rye bread was buttered and crisply toasted with two kinds of cheese melted over the juicy burger. That Denny’s has great fries which come out hot and crisp, and it would be almost rude not to follow all that with an Oreo milkshake.
My hotel room was on the top floor overlooking the harbor. Like all hotels these days, breakfast is included – bagels, waffles, whole milk for the Raisin Bran – need I say more? The room also had a refrigerator and microwave - perfect for making popcorn and stashing some of those juicy fresh California oranges.
And since I had those appliances in the room, I could save money by eating in part of the week. So I went shopping at Vons.
Vons is a supermarket chain in California and the Vons on Rosecrans is beautiful. Being in Southern California, part of the store is permanently outside. And that bakery! Well, it couldn’t hurt to just buy one box of those big chewy cookies and spread them out all week. Unfortunately, I got through them in two days and had to go back to Vons for more.
Did you know there was a Baskin Robbins on Point Loma Boulevard? Right on the way to the beach! I was on vacation you know, and I could count it as lunch.
After a peppermint shake, I decided to go healthy for dinner so after a couple hours of beach time, it was back to Vons where I bought a little container of Tomato Bisque soup. I could almost hear songs of praise from the Weight Watchers angels congratulating me on my moderation.
Two delicious spoonfuls in, I noticed on the ingredients that the soup was made with butternut squash. Squash is one of those things that, um, causes my intestines to explode. I couldn’t pour that stuff down the drain fast enough.
I was too worried about my stomach to go out. Fortunately there were some cookies left, and some popcorn.
You know what I haven’t had since last summer? Papa John’s pizza. I figured if it was just cheese on a thin crust, it couldn’t be too bad. I could eat half one evening and save the rest. But the box didn’t fit in the little hotel refrigerator, so I ate the whole thing.
Finally, my trip was coming to an end.
In exchange for being bumped to a later flight, I received a voucher for a future Frontier trip. And for my trouble, the airline also gave me some food vouchers to use during my nine extra hours at the airport. It’s not easy to eat healthy at an airport.
The Chillis at San Diego International is a nice big one where you sit down and get waited on. The fries are ok, but not as good as Dennys. I chased that down with a fancy coffee drink and a big cookie at Starbucks.
That was lunch. I had another voucher and needed dinner before catching the late night flight.
One of the things I’ve bragged about since starting Weight Watchers is something that, well, I can no longer brag about.
But when I sank my teeth into that long-forbidden, salty, two all-beef patties, special sauce – you know the rest - Big Mac, and fries, my relapse was complete.
Back home in Denver, carrying nine extra pounds, I went to King Soopers for basics. The big soft cookies beckoned from the bakery but I kept going. Now that I’m home, whenever I get a hunger pang, which is about every 15 minutes, I reach for the grapes.
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