Fitness Newbie Surrounded by Experts

I am in pain.

My shoulder is killing me. The spasms in my arm are excruciating. My elbow is doing that funnybone thing.

No doubt this is a result of a recent lifestyle change. A month ago I joined a health club and I've been working out nearly every day, lifting, squatting, doing pull ups and push downs on a fancy machine (don't ask me what it's called), and working "cardio" on a treadmill. I also avail myself of the health club's whirlpool because it's, uh, therapeutic for sore muscles. I tried the steam room, but fainting from the heat draws too much unwanted attention from the other guys.

I wrote a few weeks ago about working with a personal trainer, Eric. Because he doesn't come cheap, I don't want to call him again until I've "mastered" my routine. Then he can move me on to something more advanced.

My goal is not to become a gymbot, but to improve my overall health, stamina, and perhaps, hopefully, lose a little weight.

So far, I've gained three pounds.

Free time at home is spent with a hot pad on my shoulder and an ice pack on my tingling elbow.

Yes, I've overdone it. Eric said to work out three or four times a week. So I figured seven would be better. I think I injured myself trying to overachieve in an area where I've never achieved at all. I am now struggling with a concept we in the fitness world call "moderation."

While Eric is expensive, I am fortunate to have many willing consultants eager to advise me on my workout. Many. Like, almost everyone I know.

The problem is, their advice is not always consistent. Some say to take it easy, others say to power through the pain. Some advise working a different muscle group every day while others advise doing cardio only every other day.

My boss is ordering me to start consuming protein shakes in order to make my muscles stronger. She's even scheduled a mandatory lunch (she is the boss, after all) for us to go to her favorite nutrition store and purchase some of that appetizing powder mix. She has coupons.

A good friend says, however, that protein shakes have too many calories and I'll end up gaining weight.

The expert I most trust is a coworker who used to play football for CSU. He knows muscles and he knows pain. He says what I'm going through is perfectly normal for someone using certain muscles for the first time. He says not to overdo the workouts and limit Eric's routine to every other day. He promises the pain will gradually subside.

I seek and take advice from a football player. Who knew?

In my condition, typing this blog is agony. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm flat on my back with a cold pack to the side, a hot pad underneath, and a laptop angled over my stomach.

Wait - I just felt something I've never felt before. A kind of lump in my arm. Cancer? No, I think it might be a muscle!